Questions and Answers about Homosexuality in America

I normally wait until each Sunday to make a new post but this is hitting my hot button tonight.  There is an article posted at about Nebraska’s assistant football coach, Ron Brown, regarding comments he makes opposing homosexuality based on his belief in Christian doctrine as derived from the 66 books that make up what is commonly known as The Holy Bible.  So I have several questions and some answers to consider.

1. What is up with American’s not wanting to know what their coworkers think or believe, and then having a hissy fit when that belief goes against theirs on passionate issues?  I can tell you that every day I have to listen to comments and language that I never want my kids to hear, much less myself.  But if I speak out against it then I will not only be ostracized, but I would fall under the microscope to see how quickly I could be either put on a more “gentle” team or fired.  I am a red-blooded American male and I don’t want to look at porn, talk about the different sexual positions someone had with a bar chick they met over the weekend, or hear the f-word used as a noun, adjective, and adverb constantly throughout my day.  I am not going to interject my beliefs into the system unless asked directly about it, but I will pose counter points to the craziness that I hear.

The point is, I know these guys don’t think or believe like I do on some subjects.  They are going to act and talk differently because they are different.  I don’t think any less of them.  I follow my beliefs and do things like pray for them, try to engage them in deeper personal conversation, find out about their families, their kids, girlfriend(s), what they are passionate about, etc… It helps me see them as human and not some beastly creature that is there to make my world a living nightmare.

2. People need to realize what is truly taking place in America.  Is it really a battle for rights, tax breaks, marital recognition, etc…?  I submit to you that it is not about those things.  Those are a means to an end.  The end is to normalize homosexuality as acceptable.  If you have ever taken a sociology class then you are familiar with the term social norm.  The goal is a changing of the social norms within American culture.

Whether you see this as bad or good is irrelevant for the point I am making.  Both sides have to realize what is taking place, and that the legal aspect is the first step to seeing that come to fruition.  Case in point: women’s suffrage and minority civil rights.  The first step is legal, then the educational system and media do the rest.  It makes sense too because you have to have PROTECTION before you can break the social norm successfully.  The Ron Brown story above is going to be a great example of breaking the social norm through legal or corporate action after the Cornhuskers fire him.

3. What culture does America want to have in the future?  Here is reality: America is no longer a Christian nation from the standpoint of social norms and majority/minority consensus.  I am sorry for those who desire it (and I am one of those), but the time has come to recognize that America is not a melting pot any longer.  Nobody becomes an American like they used to: a culture change, but rather they maintain their culture’s way of life and those beliefs.  I am not necessarily saying this is bad, however, nationalism is a way of the past – and maybe it should be, I don’t know.  You can fight this all day long and you can try to legally get by it, but the time is coming when America will have zero traces of Judeo-Christian fundamental beliefs within the legal system and within our multi-faceted culture.

4. Does it really matter if the government recognizes same-sex marriage or not?  Is the government God?  Is the government this great morally right entity that we depend on for our moral compass?  If so, then you are going to be totally lost when our government fails you (as if it hasn’t already!).  I would love to see marriage be something that is personal only.  Nothing our government does should be based on whether someone is married legally or not.  Just stay out of the marriage business all together and tax people as individuals only.  This will clear up so much.  People can get married to their dog if they want to, but they will have to find someone that they deem acceptable to recognize that marriage.  I believe divorce rates would be extremely lower, marriage would mean way more than a contract, and people would begin developing a more culture based identity instead of a government based identity.  When you got married, what was important to you: 1. that you were legally recognized by your state as married, 2. that you exchanged vows of marital commitment before others and your God(s)?  Personally, I could care less whether the Commonwealth of Kentucky recognized Heather and I as married.  The ceremony, the covenant, the vows, that is what made my marriage “official” to me.

5. Does it really matter if someone doesn’t agree with you about whether homosexuality is a choice or not?  What about abortion? What about smoking? What about divorce? What about men marrying young teenagers in other countries via arranged marriages? What about children being sold into the slave trade business as a workforce and for sexual reasons? What about whether someone does drugs or not? What about evolution, creationism, intelligent design?  We all have things that we believe ardently in.  You have to answer for yourself why it matters and what should be done about it.  Here is the kicker: I am pro-life.  Yes, I wish all abortion clinics would go away.  No, I do not believe that legally that will ever happen nor should it.  I want to be free to reach out to those considering abortion just like the abortion clinics are.  I want to love these young women and offer them support, encouragement, and materials that tell them about all the different alternatives they have (such as adoption).   But I am in a polarized country that wants it one way or the other.  You can’t have pro-life and pro-choice people free to proclaim their message legally for some reason.  I can’t figure this out.  The bias goes both ways.  My point is that in order for me to maintain my freedom, our society is at a point where the other side has to have their freedom too.  I am okay with that.  I vehemently disagree with them, but I would rather be free to propagate the pro-life message than told that it is illegal.

As a believer in what is known as fundamental Christianity, it is important for me to recognize the limitations of my government.  It is man-made, man lead, and blows with the winds of society.  I cannot expect it to be the moral compass for its citizens.  I can expect its citizens to be the moral compass for the culture.  If you do not like the way things are headed then do not waste your efforts legally (I know lots of people disagree with me here).  Put your efforts towards building trusting relationships with your colleagues, coworkers, neighbors, etc… and impact them on a personal level.  Stop condemning everyone who disagrees with you.  People are sinful.  There is nothing new about this.  Don’t be a Jonah and condemn people before you even give them a chance to find out about a different way.  And you will never preach someone into changing their mind.  Would that work on you?  You love people into changing their mind.  You demonstrate the lifestyle you want them to follow in, and you better do it with contentment and joy.  Who wants to change their beliefs to something that is completely a drag and all about rules?

Not me.  I want to be free, and I believe that I have found that freedom – freedom to love, to forgive, to encourage, to tell others about what I have experienced and know.

John 8:31-32  So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word,[i] you really are My disciples. 32 You will know the truth,and the truth will set you free.”

I look forward to your replies.


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5 thoughts on “Questions and Answers about Homosexuality in America

  1. Alex Haiken says:

    Nearly every person who acknowledges an aversion to homosexuality does so on the basis of what he or she believes the Bible has to say. In their mind, there is no doubt whatsoever about what the Bible says and what the Bible means. Their general argument goes something like this: Homosexuality is an abomination and the homosexual is a sinner. Homosexuality is condemned in both the Old and New Testaments. Therefore, if we are to be faithful to the clear teachings of Scripture we too must condemn homosexuality. Needless to say, this premise is being widely debated among evangelicals today and seriously challenged by biblical scholars, theologians and religious leaders everywhere.

    It rarely occurs to any of us that our reading of Scripture is profoundly colored by our own cultural context and worldview. In light of the post above and since I happen to speak and write on this very topic, I thought you might find some of these posts of particular interest and relevance. I would particularly recommend the following:

    “Genesis 19: What Were the Real Sins of Sodom?
    “Leviticus 18: What Was the Abomination?”
    “Romans 1: What Was Paul Ranting About?”
    “Romans 2: Paul’s Bait and Switch”
    “Genesis 1: Turning the Creation Story into an Anti-Gay Treatise”
    “Why No One in the Biblical World Had a Word for Homosexuality”
    “Exegesis: Not For the Faint in Heart”

    (Links to these and more may be found by simply clicking the link below and then selecting the “Archives” page.)

    -Alex Haiken

    • Keith Wadley says:

      I will take a look, Alex. I am especially interested in what you say about Paul’s writings since those are the ones that really hammer in the homosexuality as a sin issue. I might send you a private email as well if that is possible.



  2. Alex Haiken says:


    Yes, by all means. Feel free to email me at

    -Alex Haiken

  3. amandajewel says:

    When we spoke on the phone earlier, I wasn’t sure I’d agree with you on your blog, but I actually do on much of this! The government shouldn’t be in on any of this. We won’t go into my opinions on abortion, because that’s not the issue. The issue is I don’t want my government telling me what to do with my body on ANY level. I also don’t want my government telling me who I can or cannot marry. It’s has nothing to do with my government; it’s a personal choice on who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.

    You know my feelings on homosexuality. I have more gay/lesbian/transgender/bisexual friends than I can count on two hands. I love each of them dearly. It doesn’t matter if you or anyone else views it as wrong; they aren’t going away. And by the way, when I hear most Christians speak of sexual immorality, I only hear them referring to homosexuals. And some do quote sex outside of marriage, but marriage according to whom–our government? Well, if homosexuals could “legally” marry, would they be consider moral then? I guess not according to Christian beliefs. But I personally will not judge anyone because of who they love. Love is love is love. And love is from God because God is love. So how can that be bad?

    Love you,

  4. Keith Wadley says:

    I am in complete agreement with you sister on Christians being one-sided in their attack on sexual immorality. Every time I am at a church I watch guys to see where they are looking. It is no surprise when I see them eyeing a lady who just walked in while everyone else is singing or praying. Knowing my own struggles with sexual immorality I feel very confident in calling folks out because I have been there and continue to have desires that I cannot act on because I was created to bring glory to my Creator. I love John 3:17 for this reason: my job is not to condemn, but to preach the saving grace of Jesus the Christ. I am of no eternal value to God otherwise.

    I was hoping you would read and post. Thanks.

    Lil Bro

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