Daily we make decisions, opinionated remarks, and general judgements about people, places, and things. We do this based on our perception, understanding, knowledge, etc… of the world around us. There is a problem with the way we think though. We subjectively put thoughts, actions, deeds, and words into being as though the person they should belong to actually said them. For example:
Yesterday I thought we were going to be at the office all day due to the high winds so I brought a frozen meal for lunch. We ended up servicing all day. The only other thing I had was a can of sweet peas. I was ten minutes from the office but believed that if I went back to cook my meal and then headed back out once it was done that my actions would be frowned upon by my boss and his wife. I did not go back to the office, got way too hungry, ended up feeling miserably sick the rest of the night, and went to bed extremely early.
Neither of my bosses have ever said anything about not coming back for lunch. I had another job where I was told not to come back to the office for lunch, even if it was within the allotted time allowed (weird, but whatever). The results of my decision were that I didn’t finish four properties (no energy and with a headache it wasn’t happening), my time with my family was not nearly as enjoyable, and I didn’t get to spend time with my wife last night after the kids went to bed. All I had to do was call the office, have the secretary heat the meal up, swing by, grab my lunch, and head back out. Plus I could have grabbed more fertilizer to enable me to finish the four lawns that needed to get done.
We do the same thing with folks at church, at the grocery store, driving down the road, if we get sick with a disease, etc… We basically lie to ourselves. “She won’t come to my group because she is still mad at me over the conference trip we took together last spring.” “The folks behind me in the checkout are impatient with me, I have to hurry up.” “I have been sitting here waiting to turn for five minutes, the cars behind me are going to start honking if I don’t take a risk and pull out.” “The doctor didn’t see it was life-threatening or give me a timeline til death, but I know time is short.” The list can go on and on.
They are all lies, but the ones I want you and I to pay special attention to are the lies we tell each other about people we have a relationship with. Those are the ones that matter the most. All you have to do is start questioning why you think someone thinks something or said/says something. If you do not have hard evidence (i.e. you heard them say those EXACT words) then you need to go to them and ask them to clear things up.
That is your task. Now have a great week.