Ashamed

Enticed, aren’t you?  What is Keith possibly ashamed of?  What secret is he about to divulge and why would he even think to do this to the public at large?  Well, depending on who you are will depend on how you view this.

I am ashamed of my faith in the gospel(good news) of Jesus Christ.  I feel as though the people around me, the people in the greater public arena, the people that I care about, will look down on me as ignorant, foolish, as someone with morally faulty thinking, etc…

Part of the shame comes from the inability to communicate effectively without coming across as arrogant or haughty.  I worry that I might push someone away from believing in Jesus by how I come across.  Jesus is quoted as saying, “…learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart…”, but I find myself being angry and self-rigtheous in my heart and mind.  Iworry that what I believe will be seen as ancient philosophy that can’t be applied in today’s post modern America.  I am afraid of offending someone and of them not trusting me any longer because they think that I am judgmental (which I am but not in a “I don’t care about you” kind of way).

The crazy part is that I can defend my faith better than most people can attack it.  So I don’t feel ignorant when it comes to what I believe and why, but I do feel leary of telling any of it to people I don’t know and even people I know for fear that they will see me as a braggard or something worse.  Maybe it is irrational?  I don’t know.

At the same time I feel a burden for the social qualms of our society that I believe can be fixed through the teachings and belief in Jesus Christ.  But isn’t that what everyone else believes, that if everyone would just believe in what they believe then we could all get along and live in relative peace?  I guess the difference is that I am not offering a worldy peace, but a way of living that looks at the world through a different lens ( Jesus called it the kingdom of God and it isn’t what the Jehovah Witness teach).  It is a hard road to follow but the contentment, joy, and internal peace are amazing for the perseverance of someone seeking after Christ.

I don’t agree with Bible thumping, door-to-door evangelism, or even street corner ministry, but that does not mean that those things do not work.  I believe in relationship evangelism and that the key to reaching the masses is like what one of my friends said, “one person at a time”.  He says that if every believer in Jesus were to reach one person who receives the gospel then eventually everyone would be believers in Christ.  Having a friendship or, as one book put it, common ground is vital to that success  and I hope that I can eventually be bold enough to speak openly about my faith to those I am in relationships with and those I have yet to form a relationship with.

Thanks for reading and posting,

Keith

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One thought on “Ashamed

  1. Greg says:

    It seems to me that God is laying a burden on your heart and asking you to do some work for Him; and Satan himself is trying to bring you down. I too believe that relationships are one of the most successful ways tht we lead people to Christ. We must let them know from the start that we are Christians, we are NOT perfect, we struggle with temptation and sin just like everyone else, we just don’t PRACTICE sin. We must live our lives in a Godly manner at all times because I believe that our actions speak louder than words (and yes I am preaching to myself as well). Don’t worry about coming across the wrong way in a conversation, but DO remember to pray before a time of fellowship and ask God to give you the words that He wants you to speak and to give you compassion and gentleness in your heart. Everything will just fall into place. We can’t lead everyone to Jesus, but we can all pray and we can all be a light to this corupt world that we live in. God bless you my brother, and may He bring peace to your heart.

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