Hello out there in LaLa Land,
I am one stressed cookie at the moment. Stress in and of itself is not a bad thing. How you handle stress is good or bad. How am I handling it? Good and bad. First, let me list the stress factors (who knows, this may be therapeutic):
A. Our child is still not born into this world, she was due December 10th. The next doctor’s visit is tomorrow.
B. The next doctor’s visit is with a different doctor, a man. Nothing against male doctors in general, but an OB/GYN male doctor makes me raise my eyebrow (I only have one eyebrow, in the common tongue it is known as a unabrow). I don’t like the fact that my wife is about to show herself to another man in my presence. It makes me uncomfortable and she does not like it one bit either. I am taking off of work to go with her. I know it is not sexual but there is something wrong about another man having his hands on and looking at my wife in her most sacred area. I don’t like it when I have had a female urologist. What do you do? You go ahead because you don’t have a choice. It doesn’t make it right though.
C. I am trying to decide between working on becoming a Secondary Education Teacher or pursuing a Masters of Business Administration to see where it leads. There are a ton of things happening in this arena and the stress has been slowly building up steam.
D. I am trying to loose weight and I am struggling. My shoulder is still injured and I am going to an orthopedic surgeon Dec. 31 to see what my options are. The other factor is that I love food and live to eat on most days. That means that I am having trouble with portion control. I have done better about watching what I allow go into my body but I am still trying to gain control over how much goes in. You would think that the stomach and abdominal pain I am constantly in would remind me to take it easy. Old habits and addictions die hard.
E. I am stressed about how our little baby is going to affect my relationship with my in-laws and my own parents. I know that I have to share her, but the way we are going to try to raise her will probably cause offense to one side or the other, or both. How do you handle receiving advice that you really don’t want in the first place? How can I let them know when to help and when not too without making them feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me? What about criticism, how do I handle it when someone tells me something that they think I should be doing but I disagree? I don’t know but it frightens me to think about dealing with any issues that arise due to the intensity of emotions that will be present over a love for our daughter and their granddaughter.
F. Becoming a parent. No matter how much I read I know that I am going to mess up. That scares the living daylights out of me. We are talking a level of responsibility that I have not had before. I may have directed airstrikes in the military but this is on an entirely new level. Someone is entirely dependent on me to develop their character, behavior, and to provide for them in almost every way.
I know there is more but I am getting more stressed just writing about it all.
Any prayers that anyone feels like praying will be much appreciated. Any encouragement will be welcomed. If you want to bash me for something then please hold off for about a month so some of these anxieties pass.
Boris the Illusionist